i got to thinking about the Filipino word "bida." it refers to the hero or the protagonist in anything--usually, of a story, movie, or play. presumably, it comes from the Spanish word "vida" which, oddly, actually means "life". i'm guessing that the transliteration arose because people would refer to the hero or protagonist as "la vida de la historia"--the life of the story. a hero or protagonist is not merely a position one occupies (la protagonista, or, el heroe) but a function that one performs in the narrative: ser la vida, to be the life.
if i ask, therefore, "Sino ang bida sa buhay ko?", i do not merely ask who is the hero or protagonist or the biggest person in my life; rather, it is to ask, "Who gives life to my life?" who animates me? who infuses meaning and purpose and energy in me? who for me makes life worthwhile? the"bida" in one's life is not merely that person one is most proud of, or that person around whom one's activities revolve, but it is that person from whom one draws energy, joy, and the sense of being. in this light, it is very proper during Lent to ask, "Sino ang bida sa buhay ko?" is Jesus Christ and His Gospel really the "bida" of my life?
this is because it is so easy (or common) to have one or several "otra vida" in life: that other source of life... in Filipino, someone who is "otrabida" is actually someone unwanted who insists in inserting himself into the scene. he is not merely "pumapapel"--someone who makes or finds a role for himself where there is none; worse, an "otrabida" is, properly, a scene-stealer. he draws, or grabs, attention away from the true "bida". he usurps both position and function of the "bida."
if, therefore, i acknowledge that Jesus Christ and His Gospel should be my life's "bida", the vida of my life, then to ask "Sino ang otrabida sa buhay ko?" is actually to search out those things which seek to unseat the Lord in my life! what are those that provide me a false sense of life and joy? what are those things that insist that they are just as important, just as relevant, and just as powerful as Jesus Christ and His Gospel? those things are not supporting actors--they do not serve to lift up the main hero or the protagonist; rather, they ruin life because they make life incoherent, disconcerting, and distressing. no "otrabida" can be tolerated; the primacy of the "bida" must continously be affirmed and reaffirmed.
and then, of course, there is also the "contra vida"--the antagonist or villain of the narrative. but here, he is referred to literally as the "anti-life", the "counter-life", the very antithesis of the purpose of the bida/vida. they are those that just ruin everything, that seem only intent in disrupting whatever good one has set out to do, that put a damper on whatever joy or positivity one celebrates. the "kontrabida" is hell-bent on opposing and unraveling the "bida". there are no depths too deep for his evil, no plans too convoluted for his conspiracy or cunning. the downfall of the "bida" is his sole aim.
to ask, therefore, "Sino ang kontrabida sa buhay ko?" is to ask who or what sucks the life out of me. now, we should avoid the trap of quickly and conveniently naming The Evil One as the ultimate "kontrabida" (although indeed he is). our life's kontrabida can just as easily be someone who brings out the worst in a person, just as it could be any devil hot from hell. the "kontrabida" is anyone, or anything, or any situation that can surely make you forget all your blessings and goodness in a snap! the kontrabida/contra-vida can single-handedly poison one's worldview into something cynical, pessimistic, and desparate.
normally, the "kontrabida" does not win. sure, he may sometimes manage to crush the "bida"--maybe even to the point of seeming utter defeat! but the "bida" rises again to vanquish the even more utterly "kontrabida" anyway. life, though, is almost never as conveniently predictable as a script or a storyline. life's "contra vida" can be a formidable foe that requires years of struggle and patience to overcome--and only because one never lets go of the true "vida": Jesus Christ. He has already vanquished the worst possible human "kontrabida", death, and promises us in His Gospel that the day will come that all other "otrabida" and minor "kontrabida" will be crushed. unless we establish an unflinching loyalty to and hope in this true "bida" in one's life, whoever or whatever "kontrabida" we face will always find a way to pull us down...
our journey, it seems to me, is going to be like an over-extended soap opera lasting our whole liftime. despite the true bida/vida Lord's assurance of triumph, it is still an open-ended story for each one. because our life-story's final scenes will actually be defined by the choices we had made in much earlier episodes. or, if the world is a stage, then life is the play--but there are rehearsals and no reruns. and so, before that solitary and final curtain call, it is important to ask:
is Jesus Christ and His Gospel really the bida/vida of my life? who or what are the otrabida/otra-vida that seduce me away from Jesus Christ and His Gospel? and who or what are the kontrabida/contra-vida that manage to distort, dishearten, and dissipate me despite the many graces i recieve?
with these three questions, i have a tough Lent ahead of me.
N.B.
"Sino ang 'ibinibida' ko sa buhay ko?" the word "ibinibida" refers to something or someone that i make bida/vida in my life. there are two ways to grapple with this question. firstly, it may refer to something that is not in fact the true bida/vida of my life, but it is something that i merely choose to show others as the apparent bida/vida of my life... or, secondly, it may refer to something that is in fact the true bida/vida of my life and i proactively choose to proclaim and share it with others. the first is a question of one's sincerity or hypocrisy, the second is a question of evangelization. perhaps i should reserve this for Easter. i have enough on my plate for Lent.
No comments:
Post a Comment