invitation to solitude 2, by Friar_JoEd.
the world is a strange place to me now.
maybe it always has been and i just didn't notice it. maybe its the 18 months i've been cloistered, trying to find my way in/out of myself. or maybe its me, although i don't feel anything's really changed.
the world seems loud, agitated, dissipated. i feel lost just walking to the corner store, and people seem to be going on all directions at once--somewhere and nowhere at once. nothing seems to make sense (do i make sense?).
all that keeps me from being drawn into the whirlpool is a quiet breeze that whispers of calm, a breath which somehow follows me around. i'm not quiet, neither does my presence inspire silence; i mean i sense a silent, gentle wind seems to push my sails.
looking around, i am scared i mught lose the breeze in the gusts of every day. it is all i can do to focus on it so i would not lose sense of it--to try to neglect every other audacious offense to my senses if only to remain attentive to that almost imperceptible gasp of peace.
this is my journey's wait. i have to walk, yet i have to keep waiting. my journey is no longer my own, it is the wisp's now. where it bid me go, i will--for, if i would trust, it is stronger than any tempest it bid me rush against.
i bind myself to do Your will; You give freedom to my heart. Ps119:31,32
November 21, 2006
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